A Homicide of Happiness


I’ve been doing a lot of self improvement lately. In true procrastination form, I waited until the fourth month of the new year to do so. Who needs New Year's resolutions!? But I was dragging my feet in some areas and I was disappointing myself.

Then I watched a movie called Made For More; it’s a very low-key documentary that follows Rachel Hollis at one of her Rise conferences. At first I was so against drinking the Rachel Hollis Kool-Aid. It irritated me that people said we had similar writing voices. Everyone and their mother on social media loved Hollis' book, Girl Wash Your Face. Even my friends were turning, and I was just not going to be herded with the sheep.

I was being so dumb. Rachel Hollis is awesome. Self motivation is awesome! Motivational speakers in any form, even non-Rachel Hollis, are awesome! Hollis is motivating and her documentary only pushed me into her book GWYF, which inspired me to step up my life game in a lot of ways...one being literally WASHING MY FACE!

I say all this because I’ve been really feeling good. Praying every day, being positive, crushing goals, crossing things off lists! It feels so awesome! I may not be starting up million-dollar companies yet but in my own way I’ve been really amping up my personal efforts at life and not just going through the motions. However, I do not owe that to Rachel Hollis because she wrote a book and is hella motivational. I reached inside me and found that myself.

But, and there’s always a but. Things happen. Days turn into chaos. Although the wise Mrs. Hollis says to embrace our chaos, in that moment, it can overwhelm even the most strong-willed person if they let it. Gotta have thick skin. Gotta brush it off! Gotta pull up your big-girl panties and do the damn thing! Right?

Recently I got into somewhat of a disagreement with someone. The reason isn’t really important and cooler heads always prevail but it’s relevant. Boys and girls, let me tell you what! It happened on a Monday morning which wasn’t nearly as caffeinated as it should have been. For those of you who don’t know where this is going….I let that incident ruin my day. That minor disagreement with someone maimed every bit of joy I had at eight o’clock in the morning. Let me explain this homicide of happiness and how it followed me for the rest of my day.

Just like the oil sludge in Ferngully, everything it touched was yucky and stained by it. And dammit if I didn’t willingly hand my happiness over with the weapon to kill it! Want to guess what happened? It killed my joy and then it bled everywhere. All over my life. It put my husband in a bad mood after his long day check-in call on the drive home. It bled onto and infected my five children who hadn’t cleaned their rooms, making them curt and unkind to each other. It just took over everything.

It wasn’t until I stopped and re-evaluated the entire day that I realized something. I was allowing this joy murderer to take from me everything I’d accomplished that day(which by the way was a lot of joy)! I woke up...bonus! My marriage is thriving and I have beautiful, healthy children I adore, I made a dinner that was on point AND on time. I drank coffee with my friend who revealed the gender of her baby to me and it was amazing! My sick mother took her grandbabies in the pool and played with them! I had an amazing day if I’m being honest! But that ONE thing, tiny as it may have been, suffocated my joy. It was so easy to just hand it over once I gave in.

The moment I saw each and every person around me tripping over my shoelaces I just HAD to readjust myself. Once I did, I experienced so many great things on top of reminding myself of the joys I’d experienced earlier.

We never know how we will affect others. We do things and take on feelings, never thinking how our attitude may affect others. My husband repeats from his football days, “Attitude reflects leadership.” Ain’t it the truth? Tom Brady would not have stayed with the Patriots and won six championships if Bill Belichick was some basic vanilla coach.

Belichick is revered not because he’s the most liked or the most popular, but because he’s the most respected coach out there. He demands from his players and they deliver what he coaches them to do which is why they have more Super Bowl rings than fingers. They don’t follow Belichick into battle every Sunday because he has nice hair or pretty eyes...it’s because his ATTITUDE reflects leadership and he leads them in victory not in mediocrity.

As you walk through your day, think about how your actions might affect others around you. Even if it’s a small insignificant moment in your day...that one moment of kindness could be the only one that person has all day. Alternatively, an unkind action could negatively affect and alter not just your day but the day of all those around you AND the person you had that unkind interaction with which in turn affects the people around them! It bleeds people. Blood stains are hard to wash out. Don’t bleed on someone else’s happiness.

Be safe be great be you.

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Reality Changing Observations:

Q1. What are some ways you turn your mood around when you’re feeling unhappy?

Q2. List a couple ways you could positively affect the lives around you?

Q3. How can we better align our attitudes to lead people better?