It falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon occurring on or after the March equinox, and if that sounds pagan to you, that’s because it is.
But that doesn’t stop the army of Christians suffering from an incurable persecution complex from logging into Twitter exact their wrath against the holiest of subjects: Easter eggs.
More specifically, Cadbury Creme Eggs.
And really, it should be no surprise that eggs are the next victim of the atheist’s War on Christians. First, we had the audacity to say “Happy Holidays,” which is clearly a direct insult to any and all Christians. Then, there was the Starbucks cup fiasco. And now, because we have to feign outrage over something completely irrelevant, it’s the Cadbury company and their lack of references to “Easter” on their products.
There’s just one problem though – if you look closely, the word “Easter” was never on the product.
Surely their commercials from over 25 years ago have multiple references to Easter though, right?
Nope, just one…. at the end. Oh, the tyranny! Clearly this is the work of Satan.
Imagine how much free time you must have to be upset at a company for doing something they haven’t even done. Imagine the amount of emotional investment you must have in a candy company about a made-up holiday celebrating your made-up hero.
And what’s the deal with the eggs and the rabbit?
And we’ll ignore the fact that, from a biological standpoint, rabbits don’t lay eggs. Even if they did, they wouldn’t lay delicious creme-filled chocolate ones, that didn’t stop persecuted Christians from losing their minds on the poor souls in the Cadbury social media department.
And the end of the saga:
Thank you for your detailed reply – I went to 3 supermarkets on Sunday and not one egg from Cadbury’s had the word Easter on so even more confused !!! I’ll not be buying one sadly as it’s just an egg
— Peter Starbuck (@PeterStarbuck) March 5, 2018
Imagine having the desire, nevermind the amount of free time required, to visit three supermarkets specifically searching for the word “Easter” on a piece of candy.
Others were also equally upset.
I always enjoy when someone mixes up your and you’re.
And then they just start copy/pasting the same response, because: efficiency.
So please, in these tough times, keep the social media team over at Cadbury in your #ThoughtsAndPrayers. They really, really need them.
h/t to my fantastic girlfriend Emily for finding the original tweet by @JamieRoss7